Based on Matthew 18:15-20
The gospel we just heard is a fascinating text, one of the few passages in the gospels that speak directly about the church. Well, think about it, in Jesus’ days there was no church yet, just a bunch of disciples. So, this little paragraph went through serious development before it was recorded in this form after the church had come into being, in the days when Matthew penned down his gospel. But the important question for us is: what is Jesus’ rare reference to the church about? Is it about how we should dress on Sunday morning? Or which of the altar candles to light first? Or how to master the technique of pouring wine as a cupbearer? Or how children should behave in worship?
Hmmm, sorry, no, it’s about none of those things. Instead, Jesus teaches the church how to address conflict– imagine that! Some people claim that churches aren’t supposed to have any conflicts. “If you are Christians,“ they say, “you can’t be fighting with one another.” And Jesus asks, “Which world are you living in?” It would be the same if someone said, “Families aren’t supposed to have any disagreements.” Good luck with that! Or: “Couples aren’t supposed to have fights!” Yeah, right! One of the first questions I ask in marriage preparation is this: “Have the two of you had a good fight yet?” If so, that’s good. You need to learn how to fight and reconcile. It’s part of finding your identity as a couple, not the most pleasant part, but important. The same is true for any intimate, impactful form of community.
I think Jesus could have ended his little speech with the following sentence: “Where two or three are gathered in my name, there will be disagreement; there will be emotional pain, but I will be among you and you can work it out together!” Now, I want you to know: this is not the new St. Peter’s Bible Translation; it is a Bible interpretation. We are all asked to seek the meaning of the scripture texts we hear for our lives, to interpret Jesus’ words with the help of the Holy Spirit, and that’s what I hear our Lord saying: Jesus will not keep us from conflict and disagreements, he will help us through them and make us a better community because of it.
This gospel lesson, I have to admit, challenges me. It rubs a bit against my personal tendency to seek God alone, in silence, apart from everybody else, and not necessarily in the messy interactions of community life. Yet, Jesus says, “Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” The truth lies in the numbers. Jesus recommends a small number of people – not a crowd and not an individual prayer session. Which makes me wonder: Is there something magic about the existence of small groups in the church? I think there is. It could be a prayer group, a study group, a support group, a music group, a Pub Hub group, a ministry group, a Thrift Shop gang… people often meet Jesus in the shared humanity and, frankly, shared messiness of such small but intimate community gatherings. Those groups can be the pulse and life blood of a church, places where people go deeper and grow. They can talk about stuff that truly matters to them and chances are, there is stuff to talk about. There always is. No Sunday worship service can give you exactly that.
I was in a big Catholic church last week, maybe three hundred people in worship. Some of them knew each other and cared about each other, I could tell. But what are they going say in the few minutes after mass on Sunday morning? “How are you?” “Oh, I’m fine!” And one of them thinks, “I won’t bother you with the details of my week, that my son is not doing so well, that my dog just died…” They won’t talk about that, unless they talk to a good friend, someone they know and who knows them. That’s why these small groups, even just social groups, are important. No coffee hour typically leads people into similar depth. No sermon will likely have the same impact. There is something about the intimacy of small groups that allows us to be more vulnerable, which in turn can really bring us together in Christ.
In my preparation for this Sunday I came across the writings of the Christian author and psychologist Scott Peck. He wrote a book about community development in which he distinguished four “glorious” phases of community building. The first one is called “pseudo-community.” He describes it in the following, unflattering way:
“In pseudo-community, everyone pretends that they are already a community and that they really know each other, even though they really know very little about each other. In pseudo-community, people assure themselves they have only superficial differences and no reason for deep conflict. All the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average. Every sermon is “interesting,” or at least “thought-provoking.” Every paper is at least a B-plus.”
Perhaps you and I have been part of a community that felt a bit superficial and disingenuous. You knew you couldn’t talk about certain things. You felt you were boxed into a certain role and you had to keep up pretenses. Those kinds of communities require so much energy, just to keep up the appearance. It is my prayer that our church community may never give out those types of vibes, that you can be “you” here in this place, even if you are struggling with your Christian faith and you don’t know the heck where God is in your life right now, and how to hold things together, because certain things are falling apart for you. My prayer is that you feel comfortable in worship, even if you don’t want to come out with certain feelings and truths about your life, whatever it is. I hope that you feel the acceptance of God and the care of community in this sanctuary in a way that reaches into your heart. And I know that various people at various times have experienced exactly that in this place. It doesn’t mean we couldn’t grow into a deeper form of community life.
When I read this little description from Scott Peck about the pretend community, I was first a little bit taken aback. When he writes that in this initial community phase people think they know each other, but they really don’t, I think that’s true to an extent in every Sunday morning church crowd, isn’t it? I mean, unless you’re sitting with your best friend or spouse, you won’t know. But let’s not expect too much of a Sunday morning church gathering. It is, after all, primarily our time with God, and some people like to be very private, and that’s all right. But there is a huge trade off in terms of faith and personal growth for people who are involved in a small group. If you are not already, do think about it! Jesus said, “Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” The truth is in the numbers. Amen.