“Forget about it!” is one of those phrases that people love to throw at each other when they don’t like something. “Just forget about it!” Forgetting anything, however, is much more difficult than it appears. Try it for a moment, try to forget something intentionally. Of course, what happens is, the harder you try, the more you will remember. The sillier it is, the more it will be etched into your memory! And it gets even more difficult when the memory you are trying to erase has a bad taste to it. Someone betrayed you. Someone you trusted went behind your back. Your mind may want to forget the memory, leave it behind, wipe the slate clean, but your heart and soul, your unconscious, your feelings and emotions, they are not so easily convinced. It is extremely difficult to achieve amnesia on purpose. Simply put, there are things in life that we cannot forget.
Ironically though, one of the most memorable texts of the Bible has a lot to do with forgetting!!! In Jeremiah 31, God says to his people: “I will forget about all the issues that have come between us. I will forget everything that has ruined our relationship. From now on, it doesn’t exist anymore! Your sins do not exist anymore.” Powerful words… How much harm has been done by people who remember all the wrong stuff and remember it forever, remember it until they die, and take their anger into the grave! And how much harm has been done, conversely, by people who try to forget stuff, and by doing so, manage to maneuver themselves into a state of denial, which is something entirely different from forgetting. Denial is really a crooked form of remembering. It means you are aware that there is something askew, but you don’t want to deal with it and it comes out in all the wrong ways. In the young history of psychology – a science that is not very old – we have uncovered all sorts of unhealthy ways in which people try to forget, often without being aware of their own intentions. And then it makes them sick to their souls. So, let us be clear: as Christians we are asked to forgive and let go, but we are not really asked to forget. That’s God’s prerogative.
I grew up in Germany, in a society that was still recovering from the trauma of deep guilt. In school, on TV, in public ceremonies, we were frequently warned not to forget the sins of our parents’ and grandparents’ generation, not to erase the crimes committed, permitted or condoned during the dark ages of Nazi Germany. “We shall never forget, lest we repeat the same mistakes!” – was the tune that I learned and embraced about the dangers of collective amnesia. I learned that “Forget about it!” is often not such a great idea. It’s better to deal with the elephant in the room. Only God can wipe out our sins; we can’t un-do them and we can’t forget them either. We all have to accept that.
The cross is a symbol of God’s willingness to forgive and forget. The violence of the cross, Jesus’ death, reminds us that our sins are to be not just stored away, but destroyed. As you come to the cross to pray this morning, feel emboldened to offer the Lord anything that burdens you. One of the Hebrew words for sin (avon) literally means burden. We come to the cross to unburden ourselves. Is there some memory, some guilt, justified or not, that you would like to bring to God with the simple request, “Lord, please, forget about it!”? God can do that.
Let me come to the bigger context of Jeremiah 31. It begins with the following words… God said: “I will make a new covenant with you and I will write my law on the hearts of people.”– The word covenant can be a hurdle. I find that my confirmation students often don’t know what it means. And, I have learned that, if the confirmation kids don’t know what it means, some of the adults also won’t know it. But it’s not that difficult. We don’t need to do a Bible Study to understand what covenant means. (Well, maybe we do need a Bible Study…) For now, let’s just say it’s all about a mutually committed relationship.
This passage is the highpoint in the drama of a changing relationship. We all know, relationships change over time, especially the relationships between parents and children. You have probably looked at your parents in different ways… It was one way when you grew up; it changed when you matured, when you aged. And if you have children, the same thing happens over time. Your babies grow up. Well, most of them. And they look at you differently. The rules of the relationship shift. So, here God is changing the relationship rules with his adolescent children. He has nurtured them through the childhood stages of faith. He has given them a clear sense of what’s right and what’s wrong and has reminded them a hundred times of the covenant between them. Yet, his half-mature children still don’t get it. The covenant is still not in their hearts; it’s something that the old man is forcing on them. And as with anything in life that we try to force on people, it turns out: it doesn’t work. It never does.
So, what’s the solution? Well, let’s follow this relationship drama to its high stakes turning point right here in Jeremiah 31. What do we observe here? God is making a unilateral decision. Or, to use an analogy from poker: God is all in. All the chips are on the table. God decides: From now on, I will treat you as adults. I will make a new covenant. I will change the rules of our relationship. I will trust you. I will trust that you carry my law, my values, my covenant, my compassion, my sense of justice in your hearts. It’s a risky move. Because what if they don’t pay it back? It’s a leap of faith. What if they don’t answer trust with trust and faith with faith? What if they remain stuck in their development? Apparently, God decided it was worth the risk. The reward would be a new level of love and intimacy, a new level of humanity and spirituality, a new way of being. Trust is the currency of the new covenant.
And how is this relationship drama relevant to us? Because it is still going on as we speak. People who grow up at church forget to grow up in their faith. Church remains something they were asked to attend; faith is something they were asked to believe; but faith never developed deep enough roots in their hearts. They never developed an adult spirituality, an adult relationship with God. The “you should” of the Old Covenant is still in the back of their minds, but the covenant is not planted in their hearts. When are people grown up? Great question, right? You could say, when it’s finally safe to become friends with your parents, when your relationship becomes that of equals, when you make dinner for them. Well, when is our faith grown up? It’s when we feel that God treats us as equals and when we feel comfortable having God come over into our lives.
And so, I would like to leave you with one question to ponder this morning: to what extent do you live in the Old Covenant that’s all about what you “should do?” And to what extent has your faith grown, and you trust God, and the Covenant is in your heart? And finally, please, if you can: Forget about the Old Covenant! Oh, I forgot, it’s hard to forget, but you know what I mean… Amen.