Once upon a time at the end of a summer vacation, a young man called his mother and father and brothers and sisters together after a day at the beach. There was something important he needed to tell them. He was going into his third year of college. He was doing well, his grades were wonderful, he had many friends, he seemed to have it all figured out. His father was a medical doctor and it was assumed that the eldest son would follow him into his profession. There had never been any discussion of the matter, but in those days, occupational inheritance was taken for granted. So what was the important subject the young man wanted to talk about? You all guessed it! He had the outlandish idea of taking a different career path. And not just any career path, but he wanted to become a priest! In fact, he was going to seminary in September, he told them. “Next month I’ll be in seminary!”
Once he had explained himself there was a moment of dead silence. Then his father spoke: ”No son of mine is going to become a priest. I have no respect for them. They are parasites!” He made it clear that if his son wanted to be a priest, then he would no longer be his son. The patriarch stormed out of the room and left everyone in silent shock. “You have ruined our family,” his mother told him. “Are you gay?” asked one of his brothers. “Are you depressed?” asked his sister. And so on and so forth. Division in the family, terrible division!
I read this story in a blog from the late Father Andrew Mc Greeley, himself a priest, – he joined the saints in heaven six years ago. I trust that it’s a true story, but it doesn’t really matter because stories like that happen and you and I know it. In most cases the division is less dramatic and maybe not quite as final, but it is there. I knew a young man who did an internship in my city parish twenty years ago. His parents were divorced. He had grown up in a non-religious family. His father wanted nothing to do with his career choice of becoming a Lutheran pastor and refused to support him financially. He didn’t approve, he didn’t understand, and he didn’t attend his son’s ordination. They hardly ever talked. Division in the family, terrible division!
Or remember, last week I told the story of Clare and Francis of Assisi. Francis was supposed to run the family business. They decided to dedicate their lives to God and serve the poor. His father was terribly disappointed and disinherited him. “My son had gone mad!” he thought. Division in the family, terrible division!
Those are the good stories, Jesus says. Why are they good? Because at least the division was triggered by someone’s call to serve God, by a noble pursuit, a higher purpose, a calling. Many other times divisions in families happen over petty things: jealousies, squabbles, differences of opinion, money, selfish fights over the inheritance, conflicts between siblings, judging, blaming and so on. Sometimes there is no noble intent anywhere to be seen and the family is shattered in factions by things that we in the church simply call sin. Those are the bad stories!
In today’s gospel Jesus speaks very openly and frankly about divisions of the first kind, caused by ideals and a sense of purpose, and he minces no words: father against son, son against father, mother against daughter, daughter against mother. As if we needed more of that! His words seem strangely out of touch with the family values so often propagated by churches and Christian organizations. But it would not be the first time that we oversimplify and over-mollify the gospel message. We are pretty good at hearing what we want to hear and blocking out the parts we don’t want to hear. That’s why the lectionary is good for us. I mean, if it were up to me, how many times would I select this gospel passage? Maybe never? The lectionary forces us to include the difficult texts and deal with them. In this case it reminds us that sometimes we have to live through divisiveness and there is no easy patch. I believe that to be true.
Sometimes, that’s how I understand Jesus, your true calling, your deepest convictions, your soul’s destination rub against the people who are closest to you. Sadly, they don’t understand. To give you an example, in the church we see cases where one spouse is drawn to church and the other doesn’t want the kids to be exposed to religion at all. Sometimes the Christian spouse caves in and the children never get near a House of God. In other cases, the mother or father take it upon themselves to make sure the children hear the gospel, without their spouse’s support. It’s safe to assume that it doesn’t always happen without tension, the spouse saying something like, “C’mon, why don’t you sleep in on Sunday morning? Why do you have to be so altruistic and go on mission trips?” Or here is another example from parish life: people come to worship and really love it here, but hesitate to join because what will grandma think if they become members of a church that is not Roman Catholic? Not that they go to mass any other time than Christmas, but it would be breaking with family tradition! It’s a big deal! In all of those cases, it’s tough, and living your faith comes at a certain price tag. In all of those cases, I feel that Jesus would say, “Don’t take the easy way out. Don’t sell your faith and what you truly believe in for the price of pseudo-peace. Do what you truly believe! Be reasonable, be nice, be understanding of your family if they don’t understand you, but follow me.”
“I have come to bring fire to the earth,” our Lord said, “and how I wish it were already kindled.” What kind of fire is this? It’s the fire of genuine faith burning in us. Then he added, “I have a baptism with which to be baptized, and what stress I am under until it is completed.” Yes, Jesus was under a little bit of stress. He felt the divisiveness of his message. He rubbed against the leaders of his own tribe. He was controversial. He had premonitions of death. That’s stressful! But there was never any talk of going back, only going through it. It wasn’t easy; he was just as human as we are and I am sure he had his moments. In fact, he says something in this passage that we often say in the face of difficulties: “I wish it were already over with!” “I wish I were already done with this!” I am sure Jim and Ruth Kelch said something like that to each other in the last few weeks and months, “I wish we were already done with this whole move!” It was stressful, was it not?
This entire passage is a reminder that the difficulties in our lives are as important as the blessings we enjoy. The tough times we go through are as crucial as the joyful times. Meaningful controversies based on true values are as important as the nice things we say to each other. And for those of you, all of you, who are under stress right now, who feel misunderstood or a lack of support, remember that God walks with you, helps you through, blesses you!
Amen.